A Psychologist’s Insights on How to Deal with Guilt and Regret

A Psychologist’s Insights on How to Deal with Guilt and Regret

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Arooj Anjum

Biomedical Engineer

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A Psychologist’s Insights on How to Deal with Guilt and Regret

 

Have you ever experienced a situation where you survived while others did not? And add to that, somehow or the other, you were responsible. Let’s say you are driving with your brother in the passenger seat. You speed up, lose control, and hit the lamp post. This results in your brother’s death while you remain intact. Feelings of guilt engulf you.

 

Had you not sped up, would he be alive? These questions bother you: why and how? You want to rewind, go back, and change, but you can’t. The guilty feelings make it challenging to live. Now, all you need to do is know how to deal with guilt.

 

If you know someone (or family members) who is suffering in silence and shows symptoms of survivor guilt, get them connected with us at Therapy Fleet. If not taken care of on time, it can develop into severe PTSD.

 

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Types of Guilt

 

Survivor guilt is a common symptom of PTSD. Most often, there are two types of guilt that stay in the individual;

  1. Event-Based Guilt– This occurs after car accidents or any other natural disaster that results in the death of someone. The survivors often feel guilty about surviving and being unable to help others.
  2. Existential Guilt– This guilt occurs when people think about why they survived while others didn’t in the same event.

How to Deal With Guilt? Causes & Risk Factors

 

Guilt is the outcome of a traumatic event that leads to a loss of life. These individuals then suffer from guilt and question themselves: why me? 

 

We as humans feel guilty- sometimes for things that are not in our control. But, again, that’s human nature. You are definitely going to question after witnessing a traumatic event where the other person died. But dealing with guilt is important. Avoid negative self-talk, and stop thinking about traumatic events.

 

This intense guilt will disappear when your emotional states stabilize. Remember, you are a good person, and these bad feelings are not for life. We all experience guilt. Allow enough time to let go of the guilt.

 

Let’s learn 6 effective ways on how to deal with guilt;

  1. Allow yourself to grieve– let the feelings surface; do not hide them. Do not judge yourself; practice self-forgiveness; it was not your fault. Don’t shy or hide the sense of grief and loss. We all lose our loved ones, and we all go through that pain and shock, but hiding the feelings and acting strong won’t work. Cry if you want to, don’t be embarrassed.
  2. Keep reminding yourself that these feelings are normal. You are human, and you are prone to breakdowns. Acknowledge the feelings; once you do that, you are on the journey of self-healing.
  3. Practice gratitude– you are alive for a reason. Don’t burden yourself with guilt, and learn to let go.
  4. See around your surroundings; your family and friends are happy for you. True, someone died, but it was not you. Their time in this world was done.
  5. Keep up with personal values; sometimes a sincere apology is what needs to be done.
  6. Finally, if these things don’t help, visit a professional.

Factors that Increase the Risk of Guilt

 

The following factors increase the risk of guilt in individuals

  • Childhood trauma
  • Preexisting mental health conditions
  • Family history of mental health issues
  • Alcohol or history of substance abuse disorder
  • Lack of support

How to Deal With Guilt Professionally?

 

Your mental healthcare provider will try the following;

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy– CBT focuses on changing patterns of negative thinking. It restructures the thoughts and aims to focus on the present.
  • Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing Therapy EMDR– is a form of psychotherapy that helps overcome trauma using bilateral stimulation.
  • Medications for treating anxiety, depression, PTSD.

List of Medications 

Remember, people living with survivor’s guilt need support from their loved ones. Listen to them as a family member or friend, and remind them it’s not their mistake. Express gratitude, ask them to open up, express themselves, and encourage them to visit a professional for help. Find support groups for help. They will easily connect with people there and tell them to write down their feelings or paint, art helps. For same day medicine prescription call us at [Direct].

What is Survivor’s Guilt?

 

Before we tell you ways to deal with guilt, let us tell you that survivor guilt is one of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. However, survivor guilt can occur without a PTSD diagnosis, too. After experiencing a traumatic event, getting back to normal gets difficult.  That self-conscious emotion makes everything challenging. This is especially true if you lose a loved one in the process. Questions keep boggling your mind; you start questioning your existence; the whys and hows make life difficult.

 

Stress, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, mood swings, insomnia, etc, are all parts of survivor guilt. At some point, people with survivor guilt suffer from them, too.

Symptoms of Survivors’ Guilt

 

Do you know someone who recently experienced a traumatic event? Or was it you? Do you keep thinking about how things could have been different? How could they have been alive?  Excessive guilt is not suitable for personal growth. Dealing with guilt is tough, but remember, you are not the wrong person. 

 

Some symptoms to look out for before you help them on how to deal with guilt are;

  • Flashbacks
  • Repeated thoughts about the traumatic event
  • Irritability
  • Insomnia
  • Numb, personalization, and disconnected feeling
  • Feeling helpless
  • Intense fear
  • Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
  • Physical symptoms like headaches, palpitations
  • Nausea
  • Depression
  • Anxiety

Factors that Make People Susceptible to Survivors’ Guilt

  • Anxiety– if you suffer from anxiety, you are likely to hold yourself accountable and thus guilty without thinking rationally
  • Childhood Experience– at times, little things done by the parents make children feel they have done something wrong. They grow up with a feeling of guilt lingering within them.
  • Culture– sometimes, the culture we grow up in is different. We have different views than others, and this leads to feeling guilty somewhere. Maybe you were wrong to alter paths.
  • Social Pressure– we can’t deny that this society judges others, and we do too. At times, this peer pressure makes us feel guilty about petty things, while these feelings stay, making us easily snap into guilt.

Is Survivor’s Guilt a Disorder?

 

No, survivor guilt does not have a formal diagnosis. It is a symptom of PTSD. Individuals showing symptoms of survivor guilt, in fact, are suffering from PTSD and just don’t know. Starting treatment and visiting a professional can confirm the diagnosis and tell ways how to deal with guilt. It only occurs when you survive and others in similar situations. 

 

People with survivor guilt suffer from flashbacks and nightmares. They feel helpless and have ruminating thoughts about the event. 

 

Survivor guilt does not dissolve on its own. You need treatment to avoid anxiety, depression, or the building up of other mental health disorders.

Professional Treatments for Survivor’s Guilt

 

Treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder involve therapy. Therapy helps to find the root cause of the guilt. Visiting a mental health professional will help find the cause of the survivor’s guilt. With time, the survivor’s guilt worsens. Find a mental healthcare provider who specializes in grief, loss, and PTSD. Only a professional can distinguish between ASD and PTSD.

 

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Final Thoughts

Moving on in life is essential. Let go of guilt. Let go of feelings of shame. Staying stuck with survivor’s guilt will not undo what happened; rather, it will only ruin your life and mental health. Survivors’ guilt develops into PTSD after a life-threatening trauma. You don’t have to suffer and isolate yourself. Learn to move on and seek medical advice. There are treatment plans available for acute stress disorder, anxiety, and depression caused by survivor guilt. For more information on how to cope with guilt, seek help. 

 

Discover practical ways to manage guilt and regret, find peace, and move forward with confidence.

FAQs

1. How do you manage guilt?

 

Living with guilt can become unbearable at times. Sometimes, finding the cause of the guilt can be challenging. But you should know how to cope with guilt and move past it, no matter how long it’s been there. First, find the source of the guilt, and for that, visit a mental healthcare professional who can help you. Sometimes, guilt leads to acute stress, which later develops into PTSD. Professional help is crucial for the individual

2. Can you overcome your guilt?

 

Yes, overcoming guilt is possible when you stop blaming yourself for what happened. Move past that sense of regret and what-ifs. Understanding what happened was fate, and you couldn’t have done much help. Change your thoughts and try CBT

3. How do you deal with guilt and shame?

 

If you want to overcome guilt, understand the concepts of acceptance and forgiveness. We all make mistakes, and at times, these mistakes hurt others. But know that it was unintentional, accept what you have done can’t be changed, and seek forgiveness, if possible; if not, learn to accept that it is not possible now, and forgive yourself.

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